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(Carmen: early 30s American):
In the U.S., husbands and wives are not required to share the same last name. And as a married woman who has kept her maiden name, I share your sentiments and believe that it’s a discriminatory law that impedes gender equality. Furthermore, there recently has been an increase in women keeping their maiden names after getting married in the U.S. and that figure now stands at about 20%. Perhaps women are skeptical about the fate of their marriage that they opt to keep their last names to save the hassle of having to change them back after a divorce.
With the government not imposing married couples to have the same last name in the U.S., it’s up to the couples on what they do with their respective last names. When my husband and I started talking about marriage a few years ago, I was concerned if he would want me to take his last name, but he was nonchalant about it and told me it was completely my decision. When I asked him why he wouldn’t ask me to change my last name he said, “I personally don’t want to change my own last name, so I don’t think that it’s fair that I ask you to change yours.”
Between us, we’re fine with each of us keeping our own respective last names, as there really isn’t any hindrance to our daily lives and our marriage is no less valid than that of other married couples who share the same last name. However, we still haven’t had serious discussions about what would happen if we had any children. We hope to eventually have children, so it is a bridge that we would have to cross one day. I admit that it would be awkward if our children took up just my last name or my husband’s last name.
Although it would be awkward, I personally wouldn’t mind if my children take either my last name or my husband’s. It’s not a complete solution and may seem like a mere compromise, but there’s also an option of having our children take up a hyphenated last name in which both of our last names would be combined. For example, my last name is Carter and my husband’s is Thompson, so it’d be “Carter-Thompson.” I’m not all that familiar with Japanese last names and characters, but I’m guessing that it wouldn’t workout that way.
I hope that the verdict from Japan’s highest court would reverse Japan’s outdated law that requires both spouses to have the same last name. It wouldn’t just be a victory for women, but also for anyone who wants to have a choice regarding something very essential like their legal name. Having the name that my parents gave me upon my birth, I have always identified myself with this name and grown very fond of it that I can’t even imagine losing any part of it.
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