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(Gregory : early 30’s German):
"My first few weeks in Japan were both exciting while at the same time stressful. On the one hand, I was finally reunited with the girl I was meant to be with. From meeting her friends to getting to know how she spent her daily life was all fascinating for me. I was in awe of how exciting Tokyo was both in the day and late into the evening. On the other hand, I was starting to get worried as my savings was dropping faster than expected. In the first 2 weeks alone, I somehow spent so much that my plan of surviving for 10 months seemed to only be able to get me through 6 months at the current rate.
I am not sure if it was the fact that I was splurging more than I should have or if things in Tokyo were that much more expensive. Confronted with looking at a lower and lower balance in my bank account each morning, I felt more and more pressure to finding a job. I had been to numerous job interviews but every English school was looking for a "native" English teacher. I believed I spoke near fluent English and really wanted to teach but every school was looking for an American, British, Australian, or Canadian Teacher. Interviewers would say that they will call me only to never have the phone ring again.
I was able to get some students online to teach German and English to but that did not even pay the rent. I tried to get some jobs in consulting as I was doing in Germany but with no Japanese skills, that proved to be very difficult.
During my 4th month in Japan, Takako asked me to meet her parents to which I said ok to. However, during my visit with her parents, her father asked me so many questions I didn’t know how to answer. For example, "what company do you work for?", "where do you live now?", "can you take care of my daughter in Japan?", etc…I really could not say that I was working part time or that I was living at a guest house…
I tried so hard to find a "stable" apartment but so many real estate shops in Japan told me they would not rent to "gaijins". They asked if I had a guarantor or if someone in Japan could sponsor me. I asked my girlfriend to sponsor me but the real estate agency stated that my girlfriend had to have a stable job since she was only a part time worker (temp staff).
As much as I tried, it seemed so difficult to rent an apartment as a foreigner as it seemed this "friendly" country was NOT so "friendly" to non Japanese people. I felt it was kind of racist in how they could point blank say "kore no apartment ha gaijin dame desu". Literally translated to "this apartment is not allowed for foreigners"!
The "dream" of getting an apartment and a job so that I could live with my girlfriend was becoming more and more distant. I didn’t want to complain about it to my girlfriend as I didn’t want her to feel guilty or bad for making me come to Japan but I was starting to feel how discriminatory this county could be.
Everyone "seemed" friendly and open to new cultures but personally I felt this country was and still is not that open or friendly to foreigners. We foreigners come and try to survive but must and have to adhere to current rules or standards imposed since so many years ago.
I honestly will say that though I love this country, I have numerous discussions with other foreigners who feel that Japan really is a difficult country for non Japanese to adapt to. From their "no tatoo" policy in everywhere from the gyms to the onsens to their belief that those from a foreign country must and have to adapt to this society’s rules and guidelines. Why can’t a child of a mix race family have dual citizenship? Why does my child have to omit his middle name? Why must a child take the "Japanese" last name if both parents choose to keep their family name? Why is it ok for real estate agents to forbid certain apartments to foreigners? These are just concerns from a foreigners point of view.
Please understand I want to adapt to the society but there are things I think Japan can do to "catch up" to modern times. For example, why do men make up most of the powerful positions in Japan? Why does the goverrnment seemingly afford "yakuza" organizations more rights than normal members of society? Why does it still define a mother of a child as the person who "delivers or borns" a child?
Japan really wants to play on the world stage but it is very very slow in understanding how to play in the world game of economics, society, equal rights, and most importantly education and change to give Japan and its people both Japanese and non Japanese alike better tools to compete in the global workplace.
Rather than get caught up in what Japan is or isn’t, I need to focus on my own life and not complain about things I can not change. However, there are so many expectations as what I "should" be or "should not" be that I am rethinking my place in this country. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girlfriend but what I am expected to do in monetary terms and societial expectations is really gettting to me. How could I start a new and happy life with so many restrictions already in place was the main thought I had in the beginning?
to be continued…
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